Things You Shouldn’t Say

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…this well-meaning lady at church said something that really irritated me a few weeks ago. I should qualify that by admitting that I often get irate for almost no reason when people say seemingly innocuous things.

So, yeah, it got me thinking on a train of things you shouldn’t say to baseball players or their WAGs. I was sort of forming a post in my head about it, and I kept thinking you are a little mean and kind of petty and possibly make people self-conscious (because clearly everyone bases their self-worth on my blog posts). So I decided to not be ridiculous and just stick to the facts-what she said and why it bothered me.

This lady says to me (with an extremely serious face and tone), “That [baseball] is a really hard life. I mean it is really hard.” She continued to repeat this in different variations about four more times. I nodded politely and thought if you say the word hard or difficult or anything synonymous with those two words again, I am gonna freak out right here in the middle of the Lord’s house.

Did I mention my natural tendency is toward sarcasm? I wanted to respond with “My gosh! It’s hard? Well, these past almost three years we’ve been doing this, it seemed like such a breeze! The solo road trips, the long-distance phone calls, the crappy pay, the ridiculous hours, the paralyzing uncertainty and the copious amounts of fast food and strange roommates felt like a frickin’ Roman Holiday!”

I do you want to know, however, that [I’m not a terrible person] had she inserted the measly word “seems” as in “it seems like a really hard life”, I would’ve thought it was nice, empathetic, compassionate even. But, and trust me when I tell you this, no matter what her intentions were, it came across as if she’d said to me are you sure you wanna do this sweetie because I really don’t think you know what you’re getting into.

So, if I were bolder and, arguably, ruder and a little more hormonal at that place and time, I like to think I would’ve said the following: “Thank you for your concern. It really is hard. I panic sometimes thinking about how our lives are at the mercy of so many factors that are out of our control it’s terrifying. And I worry everyday about having enough money to do all the things we’ve both dreamed of. And I even get sick some days wondering how we can raise the family we want with a life like this. And my eyes water at the thought of ever having to say another long goodbye. And I’m scared about how to make the best decisions when we don’t know what will happen to us in five months, let alone five years. But, you know, I came into this relationship with my eyes wide open. And somewhere along this road filled with the fear and the unknown and the trials, I decided my husband and our relationship was worth all of it. So, as naïve as it may sound, I am positive that as long as we’re together we’ll always be okay. And when you believe that, the hard just doesn’t really matter too much.”

I might even have added “Good day!” at the end. Nice touch or too much? I never quite know.