My Bob Evans Sunday Funday

Yesterday was so meant to be one of those days. You know those days. The ones where nothing particularly bad happens but all of the little disappointments and exasperations threaten to make you sit alone in your car and scream (which I did not, do by the way). The ones where you just learn to laugh because, really, it’s all kind of funny when you think about it.

I’m going to try a background, scenario format here or else I’ll go on forever.

Background: We are in Bradenton, last day of a four-game road trip. Decide to go to a local church that starts at 10 a.m. about 10 minutes from the hotel.

Scenario: We leave at 10:03 courtesy of Nik and his insistence on getting 8 hours of sleep no matter what. Blue dot on iPhone misleads us. Curse technology. End up backtracking almost two miles before we see the baseball field and realize things have gone terribly wrong. Find the church. Parking lot deserted. Sign in window, closed for renovations, meeting in Sarasota (20 miles south).

Background: Starting pitchers don’t have to be at the field until two hours before game time at home and whenever the last bus is when the team is away. Therefore, they always get the late checkout room at the hotel.

Scenario: Bus leaves at 2:30. Late checkout 2:30. Game starts at 5. What am I supposed to do in Bradenton for 2 ½ hours? Nik suggests I stay in the room as long as I can. The front desk calls at 3, I ignore it. The cleaning lady knocks at 3:30. Are you staying another night or do you have a late checkout? Late checkout. What time are you supposed to leave? Well, I just don’t know (not proud of that one) but ya know. I’ll find out for you. The boss lady comes. You were supposed to leave at 2:30. Really? I am so embarrassed. Let me just gather up my belongings and go then. It’s 3:45.

Background: An hour and 15 minutes to kill, no smartphone aka no way to know anything that’s around me other than the field.

Scenario: I leave the hotel as it begins to sprinkle. Sprinkle turns into downpour. I go to the field. Don’t want to get out of the car. Have to go to the bathroom. Remember I saw a McDonald’s somewhere and decide I need an Oreo McFlurry. Sit damp on a stool looking out at the storm, eating my McFlurry and wondering whether we’re gonna play this game or not.

Background: You can only sit at McDonald’s for so long. It’s still raining but softer now and I want to be at the field in case the game starts on time.

Scenario: The parking at Bradenton sucks with a capital S. There is none. You can park at businesses for $5, which you know I’m not doing because I’m cheap and entitled. So I park 3 ½ blocks away from the stadium and walk shivering in the rain. I wait outside the booth, get my tickets and go inside. I find a seat under the covering but when the wind blows, the rain gets me pretty good. It’s 5. It’s 5:30. It’s 5:45. The fans are getting restless. Many left after the giant bolt of lightning and very angry thunder. It’s 6. A man has decided to run onto the field and use the tarp as a slip n’ slide. The police are not amused. He is escorted out. It’s 6: 30. We’re listening to Yakety Yak on the loudspeakers. A woman leaving opens her umbrella and all of the water on it falls on my head. It’s 6:45. The grounds crew is sweeping the tarp again. It’s 7. The tarp is being taken off. The skies are clearing. Announcement: the game will start at 7: 20, fans cheer. It’s 7: 10. The lake in left field is clearly deep enough to support marine life. Nik starts throwing toss with the catcher. Announcement: due to field conditions and coming weather, the game is cancelled.

Sunday Funday!